Life in Groningen

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Scientific proof that Hell exists (existed)

I got this from a friend over msn. He found it on the internet, apparently some guys in the US DO have a good sence of humor and a clear well shapen mind!

Final Question Reply
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Toronto chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

My first reaction: ROFLMAO (well almost I could barely hang on to my chair!




At 2:03 AM, Blogger The Angelus Sanctus said...

Heh, this is a bit of an old one, I saw this YEARS ago... Suffice to say, its a great read, and despite the humor level, is actually conducted in a very proper backed up english way...


At 4:11 PM, Blogger E-bean said...

omg... just laugh and don't think about it that much

At 11:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Knew it already. Still funny though.

At 1:34 PM, Blogger The Angelus Sanctus said...

About time you brought back the hot chickie pics...

The top pic is so-so, the bottom pic has some hawties in it ^.^


At 1:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

nice statement below those pictures, and nice evidence you give above ! how in god's name (he exists, it is proven) can you find THAT attractive?

At 4:53 PM, Blogger Erwin said...

I don't like anonymous's so stfui, anyhoo the top pic is indeed proof of less actractive people.

At 10:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh fucking hell I fell out of my chair this was fucking hilarious lol!

Öh my God!

on a serious note, if there was a hell, Id be going there and not give a sht :/ Ive already been burned its not like Ill care again


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